Blessing for Separation

O Thou,

The Cause and Effect of the whole universe,

The Source from whence we have come

And the Goal toward which all are bound

Receive this soul who is coming to Thee

Into Thy parental arms.

May Thy forgiving glance heal his [her, their] heart.

Lift him [her, they] from the denseness of the earth.

Surround him [her, them] with the Light

Of Thine own Spirit.

Raise him [her, them] up to heaven

Which is his true dwelling place.

We pray Thee, grant him [her, them] the blessing

Of Thy most exalted Presence.

May his [her,their] life upon earth

Become as a dream to his [her, their] waking soul

And let his [her, their] thirsting eyes behold

The glorious vision of Thy Sunshine.

Amen

--Hazrat Inayat Khan

Goodnight

Goodnight; ensured release,
Imperishable peace,
Have these for yours,
While sea abides, and land,
And earth’s foundations stand,
and heaven endures.

When earth’s foundations flee,
nor sky nor land nor sea
At all is found
Content you, let them burn:
It is not your concern;
Sleep on, sleep sound.

—A.E Housman

Excerpt from "The Little Prince"

If you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look at the sky at night. All the stars are a-blossom with flowers.

And at night you will look up at the stars. Where I live, everything is so small that I cannot show you where my star is to be found. It is better like that. My star will just be one of the stars, for you. And so you will love to watch all of the stars in the heavens. They will be your friends.

All men have the stars, but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travellers, these stars are guides. For others, they are no more than little lights in the sky.

But all these stars are silent. You – you alone – will have the stars as no one else has them and in one of the stars, I shall be living. In one of them, I shall be laughing when you look at the sky at night.

And when your sorrow is comforted, for time soothes all sorrows, you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, just for that pleasure.'

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

There is no night

There is no night without a dawning
No winter without a spring
And beyond the dark horizon
Our hearts will once more sing ….
For those who leave us for a while
Have only gone away
Out of a restless, care worn world
Into a brighter day

—Helen Steiner Rice

Life after Death

These things I know:

how the living go on living

and how the dead go on living with them

so that in a forest

even a dead tree casts a shadow

and the leaves fall one by one

and the branches break in the wind

and the bark peels off slowly

and the trunk cracks

and the rain seeps in through the cracks

and the trunk falls to the ground

and the moss covers it

and in the spring the rabbits find it

and build their nest

inside the dead tree

so that nothing is wasted in nature or in love.

—Laura Gilpin

The Wheel

Time is a wheel: the day that we met
Is still there:
Everything changes but nothing is lost:
All that we shared,
All that we ever loved, belongs to us still:
Time is a wheel
Whatever has ended is just about to begin
All that we feel,
All that we ever felt, will come back again
Time is a wheel
The sound of your laughter, the rain in your hair,
Your hand in mine,
Your knock at the door, your step on the stair -
All are still there
Because time is a wheel and death will come round
As birth will come round
As love will come round, as peace will come round,
As joy will come round,
As life will come round, because time is a wheel
Bringing back even yet,
All that we ever shared , and the day that we met.

--Susan Stocker

Amy CunninghamJanuary 24, 2021Commemorative Event, Final Resting Place

A Prayer

May perpetual light shine upon

The face of he who rests here.

May the remembering earth

Mind every memory he brought.

May the rains from the heavens

Fall gently upon him.

May the wildflowers and grasses

Whisper their wishes into the light.

May we reverence the village of presence

In the stillness of this silent field.

-- Adapted from a poem by John Donohue

At The Crematorium, At Home, At the Funeral HomeAmy CunninghamJanuary 21, 2021Commemorative Event

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
And I wake in the night at the least sound
In fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
Rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
Who do not tax their lives with forethought
Of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
Waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

-- Wendell Berry

Peace at the Last

May God/Love support us all the day long,

‘till the shadows lengthen, and the evening comes,

and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is o’er, and our work is done.

Then in His/Its mercy, may He/It give us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last.

Amen.

—adapted from St. John Cardinal Newman, C.O.

At The Bedside, Group Readiness, Last BreathAmy CunninghamJanuary 11, 2021At Death, Before Death, Commemorative Event

Blessed Are Those Who Give Meaning to Our Lives

Blessed are those who give meaning to our lives;

holy and precious is the example they leave behind.

We pray: May our sorrows diminish as we recall their strength.

May their wisdom protect us and help us to live.

Let our grief be transformed into tenderness for those who are still with us.

-- Jewish prayer

Peace, my Heart

Peace, my heart, let the time for
the parting be sweet.
Let it not be a death but completeness.
Let love melt into memory and pain
into songs.
Let the flight through the sky end
in the folding of the wings over the
nest.
Let the last touch of your hands be
gentle like the flower of the night.
Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a
moment, and say your last words in
silence.
I bow to you and hold up my lamp
to light you on your way.

-- Rabindranath Tagore

Do Not Hurry

Do not hurry

As you walk with grief;

It does not help the journey.

Walk slowly,

Pausing often;

Do not hurry

As you walk with grief.

--Eli Jenkins

Death is Not the End

Death is not the end

But the beginning

Of a metamorphosis.

For matter is never destroyed

Only transformed

And rearranged –

Often more perfectly.

Witness how in the moment of a caterpillar’s death

The beauty of the butterfly is born

And released from the prison of the cocoon

It flies free.

-- Peter Tatchell

Life is a Journey

Birth is a beginning
And death a destination
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
And youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
And ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to discretion
And then perhaps to wisdom.

From weakness to strength or
From strength to weakness
And often back again;
From health to sickness,
And we pray to health again.

From offence to forgiveness,
From loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude,
From pain to compassion,
From grief to understanding,
From fear to faith.

From defeat to defeat to defeat
Until, not looking backwards or ahead,
We see that victory lies not
At some high point along the way
But in having made the journey
Step by step,
A sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning
And death a destination
And life is a journey.

--Rabbi Alvin Fine from Jewish Reform high holiday prayer book, Gates of Repentance

At Home, At the Crematorium, At The Funeral HomeKateyanne UnullisiFebruary 18, 2018Commemorative Event

Four Candles

The first candle represents our grief.
The pain of losing you is intense.
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.
This second candle represents our courage.
To confront our sorrow,
To comfort each other,
To change our lives.
This third candle we light in your memory.
For the times we laughed,
The times we cried,
The times we were angry with each other,
The silly things you did,
The caring and joy you gave us.
This fourth candle we light for our love.
We light this candle that your light will always shine.
As we enter this holiday season and share this night of remembrance
with our family and friends.
We cherish the special place in our hearts
that will always be reserved for you.
We thank you for the gift
your living brought to each of us.
We love you.
We remember you.

-- Unknown

At the Crematorium, At The Funeral Home, At HomeKateyanne UnullisiFebruary 18, 2018Commemorative Event

His Laughter

His laughter was better than the birds in the morning,
His smile turned the edge of the wind,
His memory disarms death and charms the surly grave.
We cannot grieve for more than a little while
For he lives in the earth around us,
And laughs from the sky.

-- C. Day Lewis

At Home, At the Crematorium, At The Funeral HomeKateyanne UnullisiFebruary 18, 2018Commemorative Event

The Friend

In a circle of friends, the one who dies first
Is the friend you will never forget:
This is the death that unhinges you
From the trappings of everyday life
And makes you – suddenly – absurdly grateful
For each new breath – beginning with this one.

This is the death that could break you apart
In every way possible; that persuades you –
In memory of that friend – to turn away
From whatever refuses to speak to your heart
From whatever threatens to numb your soul
From whatever it is that revels in death.

Yet this, too, is the friend you need by your side.
Listen. Together they urge you: Live your life.

-- Alice Kavounas

At Home, At the Crematorium, At The Funeral HomeKateyanne UnullisiFebruary 18, 2018Commemorative Event

Remember Me

To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated,
But to the happy, I am at peace,
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea - remember me.
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty - remember me.
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity - remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, and your memories of the times we
loved, the times we cried, the times we fought, the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will have never gone.
-- Unknown

At Home, At the Crematorium, At The Funeral HomeKateyanne UnullisiFebruary 18, 2018Commemorative Event

Memorial Day

It is easily forgotten, year to

year, exactly where the plot is,

though the place is entirely familiar

a willow tree by a curving roadway   

sweeping black asphalt with tender leaves;

damp grass strewn with flower boxes,

canvas chairs, darkskinned old ladies

circling in draped black crepe family stones,   

fingers cramped red at the knuckles, discolored   

nails, fresh soil for new plants, old rosaries;

such fingers kneading the damp earth gently down   

on new roots, black humus caught in grey hair   

brushed back, and the single waterfaucet,

birdlike upon its grey pipe stem,

a stream opening at its foot.

We know the stories that are told,

by starts and stops, by bent men at strange joy   

regarding the precise enactments of their own   

gesturing. And among the women there will be   

a naming of families, a counting off, an ordering.

The morning may be brilliant; the season

is one of brilliances sunlight through

the fountained willow behind us, its splayed   

shadow spreading westward, our shadows westward,   

irregular across damp grass, the close-set stones.

It may be that since our walk there is faltering,

moving in careful steps around snow-on-the-mountain,   

bluebells and zebragrass toward that place

between the willow and the waterfaucet, the way   

is lost, that we have no practiced step there,

and walking, our own sway and balance, fails us.

  -- Michael Anania

Return This Body

This body that has borne her all her life from birth to death,

that gave her breath to live and sight to see,

that has served her every need, that has shown you the beauty of her unique person

in its eyes and made you aware of her presence in your heart,

and without which she would be a mystery to you;

we now return to its source with the grace it deserves from us,

without our attachment to it but with our lasting love for her.

At Home, At the Cemetery, At the CrematoriumAmy CunninghamSeptember 21, 2017Commemorative Event