Posts in At the Crematorium
Blessing for Separation

O Thou,

   The Cause and Effect of the whole universe,

   The Source from whence we have come

   And the Goal toward which all are bound

Receive this soul who is coming to Thee

   Into Thy parental arms.

May Thy forgiving glance heal his [her, their] heart.

Lift him [her, they] from the denseness of the earth.

Surround him [her, them] with the Light

   Of Thine own Spirit.

Raise him [her, them] up to heaven

   Which is his true dwelling place.

We pray Thee, grant him [her, them] the blessing

   Of Thy most exalted Presence.

May his [her,their] life upon earth

   Become as a dream to his [her, their] waking soul

And let his [her, their] thirsting eyes behold

   The glorious vision of Thy Sunshine.

Amen

--Hazrat Inayat Khan

Read More
May the Arms of God

May the arms of God/Love raise her from the darkness of this planets' earth and surround her with light;

If she is thirsty, give her water in the clearing.

If she is hungry, give her food in the clearing.

May her life on this Earth and the pain of her passing become as a dream to her waking soul,

and let her eyes fall upon every lovely sight; let her find her family and friends that have been lost to her,

and let everyone whose name she calls call her in return.

Read More
High Flight

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds, --and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of --Wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air...
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark or even eagle flew --
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

—John Gillespie Magee

Read More
Epitaph


By Merrit Malloy

When I die

Give what’s left of me away

To children

And old men that wait to die.

And if you need to cry,

Cry for your brother

Walking the street beside you.

And when you need me,

Put your arms

Around anyone

And give them

What you need to give to me.

I want to leave you something,

Something better

Than words

Or sounds.

Look for me

In the people I’ve known

Or loved,

And if you cannot give me away,

At least let me live on in your eyes

And not your mind.

You can love me most

By letting

Hands touch hands,

By letting bodies touch bodies,

And by letting go

Of children

That need to be free.

Love doesn’t die,

People do.

So, when all that’s left of me

Is love,

Give me away.

I'll see you at home

in the earth.

Read More
The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
And I wake in the night at the least sound
In fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
Rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
Who do not tax their lives with forethought
Of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
Waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.


-- Wendell Berry

Read More
Blessed Are Those Who Give Meaning to Our Lives

Blessed are those who give meaning to our lives;

holy and precious is the example they leave behind.

We pray: May our sorrows diminish as we recall their strength.

May their wisdom protect us and help us to live.

Let our grief be transformed into tenderness for those who are still with us.

-- Jewish prayer

Read More
The Original Serenity Prayer

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.        

by Reinhold Niebuhr

Read More
Hail the Traveler

Hail the Traveler! We commit you back from where you came — to the arms of your ancestors. May there be peace where there was anger. May there be healing where there was hurt. Go quickly to the place that your old ones called home. For those who grieve for your passing, let there be healing. For those who grieve for who you were, let there be healing. For those who grieve for what you could have been, let there be healing. Hail the Traveler. We celebrate your journey. —Reprinted with the kind permission of Quetta Garrison-Madsen

Read More
Death is Not the End

Death is not the end

But the beginning 

Of a metamorphosis.

For matter is never destroyed 

Only transformed 

And rearranged – 

Often more perfectly.

Witness how in the moment of a caterpillar’s death 

The beauty of the butterfly is born 

And released from the prison of the cocoon 

It flies free.

-- Peter Tatchell

Read More
Life is a Journey

Birth is a beginning
And death a destination
And life is a journey: 
From childhood to maturity
And youth to age; 
From innocence to awareness
And ignorance to knowing; 
From foolishness to discretion
And then perhaps to wisdom. 

From weakness to strength or
From strength to weakness
And often back again; 
From health to sickness, 
And we pray to health again. 

From offence to forgiveness, 
From loneliness to love, 
From joy to gratitude, 
From pain to compassion, 
From grief to understanding, 
From fear to faith. 

From defeat to defeat to defeat
Until, not looking backwards or ahead, 
We see that victory lies not
At some high point along the way
But in having made the journey
Step by step, 
A sacred pilgrimage. 
Birth is a beginning
And death a destination
And life is a journey. 

--Rabbi Alvin Fine from Jewish Reform high holiday prayer book, Gates of Repentance

Read More
Four Candles

The first candle represents our grief. 
The pain of losing you is intense. 
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.  
This second candle represents our courage. 
To confront our sorrow, 
To comfort each other, 
To change our lives. 
This third candle we light in your memory. 
For the times we laughed, 
The times we cried, 
The times we were angry with each other, 
The silly things you did, 
The caring and joy you gave us. 
This fourth candle we light for our love. 
We light this candle that your light will always shine. 
As we enter this holiday season and share this night of remembrance
with our family and friends. 
We cherish the special place in our hearts
that will always be reserved for you. 
We thank you for the gift  
your living brought to each of us. 
We love you. 
We remember you. 

-- Unknown

Read More
The Friend

In a circle of friends, the one who dies first
Is the friend you will never forget: 
This is the death that unhinges you
From the trappings of everyday life
And makes you – suddenly – absurdly grateful
For each new breath – beginning with this one. 

This is the death that could break you apart
In every way possible; that persuades you – 
In memory of that friend – to turn away
From whatever refuses to speak to your heart
From whatever threatens to numb your soul
From whatever it is that revels in death. 

Yet this, too, is the friend you need by your side. 
Listen. Together they urge you: Live your life. 

-- Alice Kavounas

Read More
Remember Me

To the living, I am gone. 
To the sorrowful, I will never return. 
To the angry, I was cheated, 
But to the happy, I am at peace, 
And to the faithful, I have never left. 
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard. 
So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea - remember me. 
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty - remember me. 
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity - remember me. 
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, and your memories of the times we
loved, the times we cried, the times we fought, the times we laughed. 
For if you always think of me, I will have never gone.
-- Unknown

Read More
Return This Body

This body that has borne her all her life from birth to death, that gave her breath to live and sight to see, that has served her every need, that has shown you the beauty of her unique person in its eyes and made you aware of her presence in your heart, and without which she would be a mystery to you; we now return to its source with the grace it deserves from us, without our attachment to it but with our lasting love for her.

Read More
Return This Body

This body that has borne her all her life from birth to death,

that gave her breath to live and sight to see,

that has served her every need, that has shown you the beauty of her unique person

in its eyes and made you aware of her presence in your heart,

and without which she would be a mystery to you;

we now return to its source with the grace it deserves from us,

without our attachment to it but with our lasting love for her.

Read More