Out of sadness, wisdom springs. We'll be blogging about how the global pandemic alters how we grieve and gather. As always, we’ll touch upon the latest in funeral music, products and practices, services that families found uplifting, helpful and transforming. It is good to know what's possible at all stages of the end of life, and what other grieving, resourceful people are doing out there.
Some of my colleagues in the funeral business awoke to real-world confirmation of their worst forebodings—photos of the modest public departure ceremonies for Archbishop Desmond Tutu, New Year’s Day, 2022. Yes, the church setting was glorious, and the other bishops wore their robes, but surely the great man who helped upend apartheid would exit in a mahogany, walnut or cherry casket with brass rails of some sort. And wait a minute—what’s going on there with the slender foot-end of the Bishop’s pine coffin resting naked, skirt-less on the church truck? It’s not landing normally. No rails on the sides, just rope. Tiny wild flowers for a great man like that? Yes.
People often attribute significance or meaning to the weather on the day of a funeral. But a dramatic weather switch in the presence of a casket can become the momentary star of the show. Heavy, pelting, sorrowful rain commenced the moment the military honor guard walked Senator John McCain's casket up the tall stairs of the U.S. Capitol. More than one commentator heralded how remarkable this was, as it was still sunny in other spots of Washington.
Cremation does not replace the funeral. You can still have a funeral with the body present before the cremation, or a memorial service with an urn there afterwards.
If a cremation is planned–and a wake, formal funeral or identification of the body is still anticipated– you needn’t be saddled with the costs of a casket. Ask your funeral home about a ceremonial rental casket with cardboard cremation liner.
The lowest cremation price in the phone book or from a Google search is too low. Trust me. Funeral homes charging bottom dollar may be cutting corners to increase their total sales volume (or annual calls).
If time allows and the family is interested, the cremation box can be creatively decorated. Ask your funeral director to charge you extra to bring the cardboard cremation box to your house so that you and the grandkids (for example) can write, paint and draw on grandma’s casket. Sounds potentially strange and disastrous, I know, but like brides on their wedding day, these home decorated sacred vessels are surprisingly gorgeous and engage the family in an activity that is wildly uplifting.