There are ceremonies you can create before a person dies that can be meaningful and healing. A LIVING MEMORIAL is a gathering and ceremony for a person who is present and alive before their death. The readings in GROUP READINESS can be used in ceremonies that help people come together, align their intentions, and become mindful together, rather than head into painful situations alone. Find ceremony templates here.
When death comes to your door
at the end of the day,
what treasures will you hand over to him?
I’ll bring my full soul before him.
I’ll not send him away empty-handed
the day he comes to my door.
Into my life-vessel pours the nectar
of countless evenings and dawns,
of numberless autumn and spring nights.
My heart gets filled with the sight
of endless fruits and flowers,
with the touch of joy and sorrow’s light and shade.
All the treasures I’ve gathered
during my lifelong preparation
I’m now arranging for the last day
to give it all to death –
the day death comes to my door.
——Rabindranath Tagore
And if tonight my soul may find her peace
in sleep, and sink in good oblivion,
and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.
And if, as weeks go round, in the dark of the moon my spirit darkens and goes out, and soft strange gloom
pervades my movements and my thoughts and words
then I shall know that I am walking still
with God, we are close together now the moon’s in shadow.
And if, as autumn deepens and darkens
I feel the pain of falling leaves, and stems that break in storms and trouble and dissolution and distress
and then the softness of deep shadows folding,
folding around my soul and spirit, around my lips
so sweet, like a swoon, or more like the drowse of a low, sad song singing darker than the nightingale, on, on to the solstice
and the silence of short days, the silence of the year, the shadow, then I shall know that my life is moving still
with the dark earth, and drenched
with the deep oblivion of earth’s lapse and renewal.
And if, in the changing phases of man’s life
I fall in sickness and in misery
my wrists seem broken and my heart seems dead and strength is gone, and my life
is only the leavings of a life:
and still, among it all, snatches of lovely oblivion, and snatches of renewal
odd, wintry flowers upon the withered stem, yet new, strange flowers such as my life has not brought forth before, new blossoms of me—
then I must know that still
I am in the hands of the unknown God,
he is breaking me down to his own oblivion
to send me forth on a new morning, a new man.
—By D.H.Lawrence
When despair for the world grows in me
And I wake in the night at the least sound
In fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
Rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
Who do not tax their lives with forethought
Of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
Waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
-- Wendell Berry
May God/Love support us all the day long,
‘till the shadows lengthen, and the evening comes,
and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is o’er, and our work is done.
Then in His/Its mercy, may He/It give us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last.
Amen.
—adapted from St. John Cardinal Newman, C.O.
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
by Reinhold Niebuhr
After Derek Mahon
Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice. You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the
conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.
—By David Whyte, from River Flow: New & Selected Poems
https://www.amazon.com/River-Flow-Selected-Revised-Paperback/dp/193288727X
I raise my arms in salutation to the dawn of a new day, the first day of the rest of my life, in gratitude for being alive, awake, alert and in wonder as to what gifts the day might bring.
My daily practice is to wake and
immediately bring my attention to this thought:
“I am one day closer to my death. So how will I live
this day? How will I greet those I meet?
How will I bring soul to each moment?
I do not want to waste this day.”
-- His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Sonnet 43
Sometimes as a antidote
To fear of death,
I eat the stars.
Those nights, lying on my back,
I suck them from the quenching dark
Till they are all, all inside me,
Pepper hot and sharp.
Sometimes, instead, I stir myself
Into a universe still young,
Still warm as blood:
No outer space, just space,
The light of all the not yet stars
Drifting like a bright mist,
And all of us, and everything
Already there
But unconstrained by form.
And sometimes it’s enough
To lie down here on earth
Beside our long ancestral bones:
To walk across the cobble fields
Of our discarded skulls,
Each like a treasure, like a chrysalis,
Thinking: whatever left these husks
Flew off on bright wings.
-- Rebecca Elson
No-one has marked out the road
you are to take
out in the unknown
out in the blue.
This is your road.
Only you
will take it. And there's no
turning back.
And you haven't marked your road
either.
And the wind smoothes out your tracks
on desolate hills.
-- Olav Hauge
What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others.
-- Pericles
Astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, in answer to a TIME magazine reader, who asked, “What is
the most astounding fact you can share with us about the Universe?” said this:
“When I look up at the night sky and I know that, yes, we are part of this Universe, we are in
this Universe, but perhaps more important than most of those facts is that the Universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up — many people feel small, because they’re small, the
Universe is big — but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars. There’s a level of
connectivity — that’s really what you want in life. You want to feel connected, you want to feel
relevant. You want to feel like you’re a participant in the goings on and activities and events
around you. That’s precisely what we are, just by being alive.”
-- Neil DeGrasse Tyson
I lay my head to rest
and in doing so
lay at your feet
the faces I have seen
the voices I have heard
the words I have spoken
the hands I have shaken
the service I have given
the joys I have shared
the sorrows revealed.
I lay them at your feet
and in doing so
lay my head to rest
And You Held Me
and you held me and there were no words
and there was no time and you held me
and there was only wanting and
being held and being filled with wanting
and I was nothing but letting go
and being held
and there were no words and there
needed to be no words
and there was no terror only stillness
and I was wanting nothing and
it was fullness and it was like aching for God
and it was touch and warmth and
darkness and no time and no words and we flowed
and I flowed and I was not empty
and I was given up to the dark and
in the darkness I was not lost
and the wanting was like fullness and I could
hardly hold it and I was held and
you were dark and warm and without time and
without words and you held me.
--J anet Morley
I have opened unto you, the fate of my being
And like a tide, you have flowed into me.
All the channels of my spirit and the recesses of my soul
Are grown sweet with your presence
You have brought me the calm of great tranquil waters
And the quiet of summer seas
Your hands are filled with peace as the Moon tide
Is filled with light
About your head is bound the eternal quiet of the stars
And in your heart dwells the gentleness of dusk
I am clear and still
For I have opened unto you the wide gates of my being
And like a tide, you have flowed into me.
-- Adapted with abandon from Eunice Tietjens by Kim Farley
Pippin said: ‘I didn't think it would end this way.’
‘End?’ said Gandalf. ‘No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... one that we
all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back,
And all turns to silver glass...
And then you see it.’
‘What?’ Said Pippin, ‘Gandalf?... See what?
‘ White shores... and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.’
‘Well,’ said Pippin smiling, ‘that isn't so bad.’
‘No’... replied Gandalf softly. ‘No it isn't.’
-- JRR Tolkein
I give thanks to those that I am about to invite!
I ask that this room, this home or building and the grounds become a sacred space.
I invite the Divine to be present.
I invite Great Spirit, Mother Father God to be present.
I invite Great Mystery to be present.
I invite the Compassionate and loving Ancestors to be present and I give thanks to them,
because without them we couldn't be here.
I invite the Great Teachers and Masters to be present, especially those that we have
connections to and affiliations with.
I invite the Angels, the great beings of light, especially the Archangels, the guardian angels
angels of love and the angels of healing.
I invite the Power Animals, the Totems, and I give thanks to them for loaning their power, their
qualities, their protection and for relationship.
I invite the Healing Spirits of all the realms and give thanks for the healing that I know is going
to happen.
I invite the Elements: Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Sacred Space...and I ask for a balancing and
harmonizing of the Elements.
I invite the Compassionate Spirits and Devas.
I Invite the Earth, the Sun and the Moon.
I give thanks to the Stars and the Compassionate Star People.
I invite the Directions and the Guardians of the Directions
I invite the Four Great Winds.
I give thanks to the Great Spirits of the Land and I ask to be in harmony with you and to prosper
here.
I give thanks to the Spirits of this place for allowing this work and this prayer to happen here in
a good way.
And as always, I give thanks in advance for the blessings that I know will happen here.
Thank you!
-- Betsy Bergstrom
The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.
Is it that they are born again
And we grow old? No, they die too.
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.
Yet still the unresting castles thresh
In fullgrown thickness every May.
Last year is dead, they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.
-- Philip Larkin
May all the ancestors join forces to wake up our spirits
and put good thoughts into our psyches:
Then we shall see the good that awaits us and accept it.
Ashe – May it Be So
-- Unknown
i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
-- e.e. cummings
Nights when it’s warm
and no one is watching,
I walk to the edge
of the road and stare
at all the fireflies.
I squint and pretend
they’re hallucinations,
bright made-up waves
of the brain.
I call them,
field bling.
I call them,
fancy creepies.
It’s been a long time
since I’ve wanted to die,
it makes me feel
like taking off
my skin suit
and seeing how
my light flies all
on its own, neon
and bouncy like a
wannabe star.
-- Ada Limon
Don’t just stand there with your hair turning gray,
Soon enough the seas will sink your little island
So while there is still the illusion of time,
Set out for another shore.
No sense packing a bag.
You won’t be able to lift it into your boat.
Give away all your collections.
Take only new seeds and an old stick.
Send out some prayers on the wind before you sail.
Don’t be afraid.
Someone knows you’re coming.
An extra fish has been salted.
-- Mona Santacroce
Know that everything you do and everything you have done has been a contribution to The Whole. Bless-ed be who you are.
When the time comes for your Eternal Spirit to leave this Earthly body …
Your wings will unfurl, the breath of the wind will uplift you, and you will be born anew without effort. For where you are going there is no pain, no fear, no heartache. There is only love.
You will breathe one last breath while your spirit occupies your physical body, and with the next in-breath you will breathe a breath of great Light. You will feel more love than you have known for a long, long time. For you are going Home.
In the turning of the seasons, the love within your heart, the love of your being has expanded into fullness and now settles in peace to rest.
In the dawn of ages, your spirit has celebrated your essence which, once again, is to be made new.
In the flowing of the rivers, know beyond a doubt of doubts the truth that your spirit is truly one with the Divine Whole.
One Heart … One Mind … One Spirit … One.
You are the blessing. You are the peace. You are the love.
You are the Light within the holiness.
You are the Flight within the freedom.
You are the Essence in the center of the blossom.
This is who you are, and much, much more.
Much, much more.
-- Anara Solray
Healing Potentials Unlimited, Copyright 1999
On that fatal day when my casket rolls along
Do not think my heart is in this world.
Do not cry, do not cry with anguished moans,
For that is a pit a demon has dug, and only that is sad.
When you see my procession, don't cry, "Gone, gone!"
For me it is a time of meeting and reunion.
As you lower me into the grave, don't say, "So long."
The grave is a veil before the gathering of paradise.
When you see that lowering down, consider a rising.
What harm is there in the setting of a sun or moon?
What seems a setting to you is a dawning.
Though it may seem a prison,
This vault releases the soul.
What seed goes into the earth and does not grow?
Why are you doubting this human seed?
What bucket goes down and does not come up full?
Why should the Joseph of the spirit resent the well?
Close your mouth on this side and open it beyond,
For in the nowhere air will be your song.
-- Jelal ad-Din Rumi
One night when you were just a star,
someone hung every hope, every wish, every dream,
they ever had from your limbs,
so if you ever feel inferior,
ever start to doubt your beauty or brilliance just remember:
you have constellations lining the cathedral walls of your chest,
a moon for a heart
and the sunlight pouring through your skin,
you are a symphony of stardust
and you were born to shine.
-- Tyler Kent White
I shall live beyond death, and I shall sing in your ears
Even after the vast sea-wave carries me back
To the vast sea-depth.
I shall sit at your board though without a body,
And I shall go with you to your fields, a spirit invisible.
I shall come to you at your fireside, a guest unseen.
Death changes nothing but the masks that cover our faces.
The woodsman shall be still a woodsman,
The ploughman, a ploughman,
And he who sang his song to the wind shall sing it also to
the moving spheres.
--Kahlil Gibran
If I should die tomorrow, which I might
Even with spring so new and the wind blowing
Flowers up from the earth and the great white
Clouds piled over the mountains; even knowing
That I should die and all the things we share
Be stricken from my careful grasp forever
Stars and gold sunlight warm upon the hair,
Your smile and the moon dancing in the river,
If I should die tomorrow, do not weep,
For I could never rest hearing your sorrow.
Deeper than love of life, my love is deep
For you. And if my life should end tomorrow
Bravely I’d close my days, however few,
Knowing I left the best of them with you.
- Unknown
I’ve walked along this road
For a long time now.
I know I’ll have to turn somewhere,
Or, perhaps
Turn back
To my beginnings.
Along the way
The leaves have fallen off me,
So I walk this road
With only the bare bark
Of my own winter.
It’s the last that is left of me
And the best
- Unknown
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.
- Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, verses i-ii, iv, vi-viii (Before Death, After Death, Funeral, poem, religious)